Scripts for Kids Drama Plays

Funny scripts for kids & teens
Read samples:

  NEW! - LIBRARY OF FUNNY
SCRIPT SAMPLES

From the Christmas comedy script "Merry Penguins"

CHARLIE: That was wonderful!
ALFIE: Flying is great fun!
MAX: We even looped-the-loop and flew upside-down!OPENSLAE: So, that was probably when Father Christmas fell out.
(All Penguins point to the sleigh in horror.)
ALL PENGUINS: Oh, no!

From the play script "Christopher Columbus"

ISABELLA I OF CASTILE: ... I'll even sell my jewels to pay for the expedition!

FERDINAND II OF ARAGON: Steady on, dear. There's no need for desperation: we can always tax the poor more.

ISABELLA I OF CASTILE: Oh, yes. Silly me.

From Romeo and Julie comedy script: 

TYBALT: I recognise that face! A cursed Montague in our house. To strike him dead I hold it not a sin. Aghh, alas I carry no sword and have no dagger.

(Tybalt rushes over to the serving tables. Romeo is now gazing lovingly a metre away from Julie, who does not notice him.)

TYBALT: Servant, give me a knife!

SERVANT 1: I'm sorry, sir. We have no knives.

TYBALT: Damn you! Give me a fork then. It will have to do.

SERVANT 1: I'm sorry, sir. We have no forks.

TYBALT: A plague in your pants! What do you have?

SERVANT 1: Spoons.

TYBALT: Give me your biggest, meanest, sharpest spoon for I mean kill a sworn enemy.

SERVANT 1: Not if you don't say 'please', sir.

Read samples from amusing elementary school play "4th July: Independence Day". 

From "The Lost Eagles" educational play script

VARUS:  (Showing picture of money bag going to Rome:)We’re going to collect taxes (Showing picture of person being whipped on the bottom:) and give you some good ol’ Roman law.  (Chieftains all groan.)

VARUS:  Ahh, but there is good news! We’ll build Roman baths, public toilets....

CHIEFTAIN #2:  That looks fun.  What’s it for?

Funny educational scripts:
           Henry VIII: Big Hal Knows Best
           Don't Mess with Boudica  

Read samples from the funny play script for kids:
Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves.

Funny middle school script: Aladdin 

From "The Real Pierre Pan" parody play script

EAGLE G. (Gangster rap music plays)
I ‘iz the well minty boy from Staines,
My rapping will blast out yor brainz,
I dance betta than Adam n the Antz,
But me gran tells me to change my pants.
Aye!

...

PIERRE PAN:  I’ve just had an idea. Let’s see if the teachers can do it! Scrub the decks, salute the captain, and climb the rigging.  Wakey, wakey, teachers: it’s better than attending a staff meeting...
(If teachers get order right:)
ALL:  Hooray!
(If teachers get the order wrong)
PIERRE PAN:  Ooh la la, you not listening to the order.  But, we forgive you.

From the script of "The Boston Tea Party"

TEA DRINKER 1: Ooh, what a lovely drink! It's incredibly popular in America you know. There are four main types of tea: white, green, oolong and black. We mainly drink green tea in the colonies. I just don't know what I'd do if I was deprived of my daily cup.
TEA DRINKER 2: Well, thankfully that's hardly likely to happen is it? In fact, I'd say that situation could never ever arise.
(Enter PROTESTER.)
PROTESTER: Put that drink down immediately! It contains the seeds of slavery.
(Tea Drinker 1 and 2 examine tea cups.)
TEA DRINKER 2: No, it doesn't. It contains tea leaves.
PROTESTER: Well, yes. What I mean is that if you accept British tea, you're also accepting the King's authority to make laws over our land.
TEA DRINKER 2: (Lowering cup.) Really?
(Tea Drinker 1 continues to drink happily.)

From "The Back to the Past Guide to Great Scientific Breakthroughs" children's play

NARRATOR:  Previous designs for manned flight had involved a lot of flapping.  (Two strangely dressed people holding wings enter stage, warm-up like athletes, flap furiously and jump from chair, one after the other and walk off sadly.)  It didn’t really work.

From "The Christmas Miracle" kids Christmas play

MRS. MACINTOSH:  Now let’s say grace. Hands together. (Curly sitting one side of Stan puts her hands flat against his.)
MRS. MACINTOSH:  Your OWN hands.

From children's theatre comedy play "Cosmic Pets"

CAPTAIN THUNDERBOOTS: You’re a strange looking monkey.
JAY: That’s because I’m a boy!