Genre:          historical play / comedy of humour

Topics:         Romans, Roman History, Roman Empire
                      Roman Army,  Roman Legions, battles  
                      Germany, German tribes,

Age:              7-9 (2nd Grade -3rd Grade / Year 3 - Year 4)

Cast:             minimum 28

Duration:      20 minutes

Author:          Robert Reed

An informative and funny account of what happened in the Teutoburg Forest in A.D. 9 and how it affected the future of the Roman Empire. 

Did the Roman army really have sacred chickens?  Will legionary Cassius’ mam send him more underwear?  These and other vital questions are answered in this play.

VARUS:   From the ‘Governor of Germany across the Rhine’ Quinctilius Varus, A.D. 9, whatever that means!  As Legatus, I’m the Big Cheese, but I miss the theatre and music, and poetry “I wandered lonely as a cloud...” (Voice drifts away.)

SCRIBE:   Oh, by Jupiter sir, please don’t repeat that again! 

VARUS:   There is only one rainbow in the sky my dear: my trusted friend Arminius, a terribly nice fellow even for a local, former auxillary cavalry officer.  He just loves us Romans.  Oh, here he is now.... 

ARMINIUS :   I heard your wonderful voice reading poetry.  You know that I really, really, love Rome so much!

VARUS:   I’m pleased you’re here.  I’ve got a meeting with some local chieftains: it’s time we established some order in this province!

(Enter chieftains.)

VARUS:   You all know I’m a fair man, but like a strict father sometimes I must do things that are really in your interest even if you don’t know it and you don’t like it and never will.

CHIEFTAIN #1:   What’s your plan, Roman?

VARUS:   We’re going to collect taxes and give you some good ol’ Roman law.  (Chieftains all groan.)

VARUS:   Ahh, but there is good news! (Showing pictures:) We’ll build Roman baths, public toilets....

CHIEFTAIN #2:   That looks fun.  What’s it for?

VARUS:   (Pause)... and there’ll be theatre, music, temples to Venus and we’ll get rid of that horrid beer and make you drink lovely wine! 

CHIEFTAIN #3:   Never!

CHIEFTAIN #4:   Not our beer!

CHIEFTAIN #5:   Grrrrr!

The Dalton School Collection
Map of the Roman Empire (about 120 A.D.)

Wikipedia
List of Roman inventions